Category Archives: Kiffin

Where the Sidewalk Ends

For whoever makes a shelter of reeds and hides has joined his spirit to the common destiny of creatures and he will subside back into the primal mud with scarcely a cry. But who builds in stone seeks to alter the structure of the universe and so it was with these masons however primitive their works may seem to us.

– Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian, or the Evening Redness in the West

A Drug Called Tradition has reached the place where the sidewalk ends and walked with a walk that is measured and slow, into a strange new world.
Where the Sidewalk Ends

3SIB We encourage you to follow us — to 3rd Saturday in Blogtober — or as we like to call it: Blood Meridian, or the Evening Redness in the West Meets the Evening Amber in the East.

We’ve already introduced ourselves in that bloody coliseum of spit and hate. So join us where October’s sanguine moon always shines the field on that sacred fall Saturday. Beware: the Alabama folks smell of sweet cigars, and the Tennessee people… well… they just smell of rotted cheese and Jack Daniels.

Thank you readers, commenters, and everyone else.  The pleasure’s all on this side of the table, trust us.

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns
crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we’ll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we’ll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

– Shel Silverstein

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Filed under 2009 College Football, Alabama, Alabama Basketball, College Basketball, College Football, Fulmer, Kiffin, Saban, SEC, SEC Basketball, Tennessee, Uncategorized

Defending the Undefendable

Defending the Undefendable


Filed under 2009 College Football, College Football, Defiance of Logic, Diversion, Kiffin, SEC, Tennessee

Tennessee Self-Reports Recruiting Violations

Storm CloudUnless Tennessee head coach Lane Kiffin is an intergalactic terrorist wearing some poor human’s skin as disguise and roaming the Earth in search of a miniature galaxy inside a housecat’s collar, he has run out of feet to stick in his mouth.

Baby Lane KiffinLess than four days after Kiffin publicly and erroneously accused Florida coach Urban Meyer of violating NCAA rules, UT has self-reported two recruiting violations, according to an AP report.

The infractions cited are trivial and would normally not be worth mentioning, but in light of Kiffin’s recent imputations and overall belligerence, his behavior rating for class this week is stormy.


Filed under 2009 College Football, Cheaters, College Football, ESPN, Florida, Kiffin, Meyer, Monte Kiffin, Orgeron, Recruiting, SEC, Tennessee

Tana Patrick Talks about Knoxville Visit

Tana Patrick

Stevenson, Ala., linebacker Tana Patrick chose to attend Alabama, but the decision was not as clear-cut as many believed, especially after his adventurous visit to Tennessee the weekend before Signing Day.

Patrick’s comments on his trip to Knoxville, courtesy of an Outer MonVOLia denizen:

Yeah…I had a great time on my official visit to Tennessee. Coach Kiffin and Coach Oregeron chartered a bus and took us all to Gatlinburg and through the Smokies. One of the highlights of the trip was when we stopped in Cherokee, NC and Coach Monte Kiffin insisted that we all try some saltwater taffy. That stuff is really gooey and hard to chew, and Coach Monte Kiffin ended up having to remove his dentures and pick it out with a toothpick. That was hilarious.

After that, we rode around Cade’s Cove and watched all the deer. We actually saw a bear and it reminded me that I should probably text the guys at Alabama and let them know what I was doing.

Later in the day we went to Gatlinburg and played Hillbilly Golf. That was a tons of fun because I got a hole in one by knocking the ball into the open end of a huge moonshine jug. When I hit the hole in one, Coach Oregeron ran over and gave me a goomba then put me in a headlock. The worst part of it was that he had his shirt off and was sweating. But Oregeron is alright…he’s just a little intense and would scream at anyone who was playing slower in front of us.

For dinner we went up to Ober Gatlinburg. We had fried chicken in a huge room overlooking the ski slopes, and after dinner we went tubing. The tubing was hard because we’d be going along pretty fast and hit a patch of dirt then everyone would go flying. Of course Coach Oregeron also did that without his shirt on, so he was covered with mud by the end of the night. On the way back down, Coach Lane Kiffin was rocking the sky bucket trying to scare us. When we finally got on the ground his dad got onto him pretty good for horse playing.

On the bus back to Knoxville, Coach Lane Kiffin was in the back with some of us guys and he threw a pecan log roll he’d bought at Stuckey’s out the window at a car as we drove past. Coach Monte Kiffin saw him do it, and made Lane sit up in the front seat behind the driver for the rest of the trip. He was pretty upset about being punished by his dad in front of us recruits, but he shouldn’t have thrown his pecan log roll at that car. I knew he had gotten mad at his dad when he was wiping tears from the corner of his eye. He thought no one was looking, but I was, so I just rested my hand on his shoulder.

Overall I would give my visit an 8. It might have gotten a 9, but we only got a snow globe and a UT ashtray for gifts. Right now I would say that UT is my 3rd choice, but they’re moving up.

Sometimes fiction is funnier than reality.

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Filed under 2009 College Football, Alabama, College Football, Kiffin, Monte Kiffin, National Signing Day, Orgeron, Pecan Log Rolls, Recruiting, SEC, Tennessee

Around the SEC in 80 Seconds

League Sense Header

If football is the cat’s pajamas for an SEC sports fan, this may be the gloomiest time of year:

16 days until any SEC school begins spring practice (Alabama hits the practice field on Feb. 24th; Auburn begins on Feb. 28th, and the rest of the SEC doesn’t suit up until the first week of March or later)

206 days until SEC football begins (South Carolina at NC State on Thursday, Sept. 3rd)

359 days until National Signing Day 2010

The teams of the SEC do have some things going on right now, though. After the jump, a few of the current newsworthy happenings around the greatest conference in college sports:

Click here to continue reading this pamphlet

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Filed under 2009 College Football, Alabama, Arkansas, Auburn, Chizik, College Basketball, College Football, Diversion, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Kiffin, LSU, Meyer, Miles, Mississippi State, National Signing Day, NFL, Ole Miss, Saban, SEC, South Carolina, Spurrier, Tennessee, Vanderbilt


UT DonkeyLane Kiffin is an ass. And not the kind Mick Jagger was singin’ about. The kind that wins a total of five games as a head coach, gets fired, and then gambols into the SEC, hires his daddy, pays millions of dollars to a staff that’s supposed to be the freaking League of Extraordinary Recruiters yet still comes up short on Signing Day, and then publicly runs his mouth, WRONGFULLY accusing another coach of violating recruiting rules.

That kind of ass.

I love the fact that Urban had to cheat and still didn’t get him.

– Lane “Nanny Nanny Boo Boo” Kiffin

You are, LANE. And until you beat him on the field, he’s COACH MEYER or MR. MEYER. Thought Monte raised you better, boy.


Filed under 2009 College Football, College Football, Florida, Kiffin, Meyer, National Signing Day, Orgeron, Recruiting, SEC, Tennessee

The Fonzie Effect

Rumors swirl that cash money has made it back into the college football recruiting process.

Fonzie Cash

Every year there’s rumblings, and some of it’s in good fun:

But the NCAA caught on to straight-cash transactions, not too long after the art of air-bombing tens of thousands of dollars wrapped in school flags over recruits’ homes was standard procedure. So coaches became more creative. But in the current technological age, almost any type of transaction is caught by computer…so while there may be no paper trail, there’s usually an electronic trail more damning.

Maybe coaches have once again figured out that straight-cash is the way to lure top recruits. And we all know how kids these days love their Benjamins:

Kenny Cash

Speaking of dirty recruiting accusations.

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Filed under "Them", 2009 College Football, Alabama, College Football, Florida, Kiffin, LSU, National Signing Day, Rankings, Recruiting, Rumor Rag, SEC, Tennessee, The "friendly" but maybe "too friendly" principal in Scream 1